Glory to God Forever

As my family and I were walking through Cave Hill cemetery this past Memorial Day, I began humming a familiar tune:

"Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your glory. Take my life and let it be Yours."

[[only God]]

I came to a realization yesterday during worship at Collide... had a breakthrough moment about how God must feel when we choose others over Him.

We all have a little green monster inside of us. Jealousy comes out in so many ways, especially with friends or parents. If my best friend began having a relationship deeper with another friend, I would get jealous... I HAVE before. There's hardly anything worse than knowing someone you care so much for cares for another in the same way at a deeper level. Sinking stomach...

God feels the SAME way! Think about it..

God Always Provides...

I haven't mentioned it on here, but if I actually do have any readers, you probably know I'm going to the Dominican Republic at the end of July for a mission trip. I got an email today stating that 20 people have supported me thus far... and $1450 of the $1575 has already come in!! I need continued support, because if our group raises $5000 more than required, we get to do something special for the people down there!! God is so incredible, and I am so extremely happy to be taking part in this mission to spread His name :)

Life Nowadays..

Where do I even start?
I guess I just have to simply echo Matt Reagan's message from this past Sunday: "Storms gather, even when every day starts like any other... the problem is not the storms; they're always going to come. The problem is we treat Him as average... We serve and uncommon God."

This is so incredibly true, and I'm learning more and more about this each day. For the most part, life has been so incredible this past month. Even through the storms, you have GOT to learn to dance in the rain.

Who knows what is coming next?

So There's a Boy...

Yes. It's true. God has [[finally]] placed a guy alongside me :) His name is Zach.

OK I'm going to tell you the long story, because I'm in Yearbook (Facebook) class and have nothing to do...

It kind of all started last summer... I met Zach's mother in our summer Bible study on Heaven my sister and I attended. We didn't really talk, but were acquainted enough to become Facebook friends.

Fast forward 6 months to January. Easter Passion choir practices have just begun, and I log into Facebook. Juli's status reads something along the lines of "Juli might switch over from alto to soprano". That's exactly what I had been thinking of doing!! Fate? I think so...

Fast forward 2 months. It's now March, and Juli and I have become the best of friends LOL (who freakin' cares about the 19 1/2 year age difference.. i've always been like this!). Juli talks about her son, Zach, all the time... asking advice, telling stories, etc. I thought to myself (briefly) "Hmmm.. I could like this kid". The thought was erased from my mind as soon as I learned of the 16 month age difference... and he was the younger one.

Then I met Zach. Didn't really think anything of it. Then I saw him when he came to drop off his brothers Alex and Bobby at the Passion. I found out what seats he'd be sitting in, and decided to change my Triumphal Entry spot for the night so I would be so lucky to walk past this fellow... I'm clever, I know.

Then came Cici's. The whole cast and crew went to Cici's for a party after one of the Friday performances. Zach came along. I pulled my friend, Brooke, aside and asked her if she thought it would be weird if I began taking interest in a freshman. "No, that's not weird at all! He's cute, you should do it!", she replied. Hmmm. I could like this kid...

So I turn on my flirt. I see him, I talk... giggle... the whole bit. I've learned how to do this really well, if I say so myself...

Fast forward a week or so. It's time to leave for Panama City Beach, and guess who is going on the trip? Zachary Allen Jenkins. I see him with my BFF Juli and their family. I talk to Jules a little bit, but she soon disappears to do things. Zach stays behind. I flirt. Hmmm... I could really like this guy...

We depart from the church to head to Florida. Our bus stops, and I'm still a little drugged up. I planned on sleeping while everyone goes to McDonald's and Burger King, but soon find out we'll be there for over an hour. Time to flirt... I search for Zach (nonchalantly, of course), and find him with his friends in Burger King 10 minutes later. I pull up a chair and sit. I figure out that he's pretty funny. Hmmm... I could really like this dude...

Him, his friends, and I walk over to the gas station. He helps me minimize boxes at the gas station (we're BOTH nerdy). Butterflies have started. Hmmm... I think I really might like this guy...

OK so by now I can't stop thinking about him. AHHH. We get to the beach, and the next day we talk for about an hour and a half. Just talk. It's incredible :) The next day, it's raining. Darn. We talk again. For hours. Next day, we go on the beach and talk. Again. We start asking each other questions. He finally gets to the point. "Who do you like?" My heart leaped. I really like this guy...

We sit on the beach talking for a while longer about what we expected in a relationship and how we thought his mom would react (was scaring the crap out of me). I told him I wanted to go get advice from my Cgroup leader, Emily. He said he'd go chat with Chad and Matt, our youth leaders.

I go talk to Em, and she gave me GREAT advice on how she came home from Bible and Beach with a new boyfriend every year, and how I had to be careful. What I expected, and I'm glad she spoke the truth. Zach talked to Chad for a bit, and Chad gave some awesome advice and complimented me (I was happy). Then came the chat with Matt...

Zach went to Matt during dinner and asked about how he should pursue me. Matt asked him if he was grounded in a Cgroup. Zach wasn't. Matt asked him if he could wait 3 months to date me. Zach replied that he'd wait as long as he'd have to (AWWWW). Matt told him he should wait 3 months while he got into a Cgroup and made great guy friendships.

Zach and I started counting the days. 91. 90. 89. 88. 87. I soon found out I couldn't wait that long. I talked to Zach, and we figured that since Cgroups end in May for the summer, waiting the whole month of June before we dated would not be beneficial. We have come to the decision that the last week of May will be the best week to start a relationship. I cannot wait. AT ALL. :) :)

Zach is an incredible person with a heart for God I admire. He has a great relationship with his family. He's funny. He's cute. He's very easy to talk to. He makes butterflies start fluttering with just the sound of his voice. It's crazy, and I'm happy.

Easter Passion

Every year there is an Easter performance at my church. It's called the Easter Passion, and I'm in it!! It requires hours upon hours, though :( This is my schedule (and has been 5-6 days a week since Feb. 19/March 6)
6 AM - Wake up
8 AM - School starts
250 - School ends
345 - Mom picks up from bus
410 - Get home
430 - Leave for church
450 - Arrive at church
5 - Apply stage make-up
545 - Travel down to choir room/eat
630 - Worship/Notes before performance
730-930 - Easter Passion performance
930-10 - Meet/Mingle with guests
1010 - Leave
1030 - Get home
1040 - Shower/Clean tub
1145 - Bed

My days are completely full, but that's how I love it!! I enjoy spending 32 hours a week with the most of the coolest people I know. My closest friends there are Juli, Angela, Brooke, Natalie, and Abigail. I met Juli last summer in the Women's Bible Study on Heaven we were doing. We weren't very close until Passion choir practices began. Now we're inseperable!! She is a hoot =) She makes me laugh, and she shows Jesus to me every day. Now that we're tight, I couldn't imagine what this Passion experience would be without her there by my side every day, bringing me Moe's and birthday gifts. HA!

I'm going to head back to English class now... The school day is almost over, and then I'll be off to Passion!! I could spend all day every day there. God is just so evident, and it's incredible!

"He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. Let every tongue confess that Jesus Christ has risen from the dead!... He is the Holy One, Redeemer. We are saved, He's heard our prayers!!... Jesus is alive, He's done what He said He'd do. He is alive, the hope of His Word is true. The glory of the Father, Jesus Christ has conquered the grave. There is power in His name. Let all the world proclaim He is alive. Ohhh Oh. Jesus is alive!"

Out of the Valley.

Hallelujah!! God is so incredible. You're probably wondering where I'm coming from on this (although it shouldn't be so rare a cause for your wonder), so here is sort of where I've been for the past 4 months. I've been meaning to record it all as it goes, but time has not permit...

Back in April, after attending my church spring break trip (Bible and Beach) down in Panama City, one of my small group leaders and I got extremely close. She was a huge part of why I grew so close to Him and found out where I was meant in His plan. We decided to meet a few times a month to go through a devotional book. We went through with this plan, her pouring His insight into my life, and me continuing to grow.

That is, until September.

The last week of September, my leader threw upon me the fact that God was telling her it wasn't exactly right meeting with me. Apparently it wasn't fair to the other girls that I spent so much time with her. Also, we had begun to drift our focus away from the Word and onto her relationship with her boyfriend. It was hard to hear this from her, but I cried and went on. So I thought.

Life from there just kept going downhill.. spiritually, that is. I kept pleading with God, asking Him to reappear in my life. I felt like He wasn't walking alongside me like I'd always heard Him promise. I wanted to be passionate for Him. I mean, I'd always been a leader in the church, in my school, it just wasn't working for me. I would despise everything except for being with my friends, making money, and being lazy. Basketball? PSHhh. I would want to be ill so I wouldn't have to go. School? I hated it. I only have one or two good friends there, so there wasn't any joy in that area. Family? Completely driving me crazy.

I think I was going through a period of light depression. That is definitely hard to admit, but I will. I cried all the time, during practices, free time at home, and even math class. I didn't know how to get Him to become active again. I felt deceived.

After about 2 1/2 months of going through this stage, I felt as though He'd left me be to see how I could do without Him. To tell you the truth, I was totally fine with that! I thought to myself, "Danielle, if He won't become evident when you ask, go at it alone. It has to be better than what you're going through now". So there I went, independence galore!

It was fine at first, being on my own. I only read my Bible as a responsibility for basketball, thinking my coach might start asking questions on what we were to read. I didn't want to sit in a church service feeling like a hypocrite. The only reason I continued to act like a Christ-follower is because in the back of my head, I knew I would come back to my senses. I didn't want to do that with a plethera of mistakes following right behind me.

This stage was horrible. Even worse than the one before. I was so alone. I've never been one to pray very hard. I didn't want it. I didn't have time to talk about it with friends. I felt completely hopeless.

I began sharing this with a few people, mainly my youth pastor, Chad. He kept asking how I was doing and He would offer advice, though he admitted he didn't know what was going on.

Later in one of the high school services, they told us if we needed to talk to a leader, they would pray with us. I briskly walked over to Chad, and he began to pour out his heart in prayer for me. I just stood there, arms around him, crying. It's what I needed. Totally.

Then I began the road of reconstruction. I think I'm almost through, and boy am I happy He was so incredibly awesome in my life even when I fell away.

Although I Am One Myself, Get Them Away from Me

Highschoolers. They bug the freakin' crap out of me.
First, there are those people that only care about the opposite sex. "Oh my gosh! John called her to tell her about this!" or "I'm going to write about Tyler and his dog.. did you hear what happened when he was over at my house last night??" Who cares. Like seriously.
Then there are those guys that love to be the center of attention. They are loud for no reason. They run and jump around. They don't listen to the teacher and have no desire to get anything done. Why waste my time and theirs?
Next is the people who just care about what they're going to do with who over the weekend. Party. Sleep for a few hours. Hang out with friends. Family? Who are they? Church? If I have time...
And last.. possibly the most annoying. The dumb butts. They enjoy acting the stupidest they can. What is in the center of the cell? Gum! Um no. Use the brain God gave you.
I guess this is the reason I gravitate more towards adults. I form relationships with them because God developed my mind a little too much. I don't think I am so incredibly mature, just mature enough to get past the immature stage very quickly. It's hard going to school every day with all this around me. I just want to scream everytime a kid starts laughing like a retard or a girl talks about her "best friend" she met last week that she's now talking to for hours. Then the next day it's someone else.
No, I'm definitely not boring. I just don't like using my time caring about things that never matter. Never will. I want to learn. I want to succeed. I want to be here for a purpose that counts. I just wish people were standing along with me.

Just a Little About Me

As in fact I am in the process of being in the habit of posting, I copied my About Me from my facebook profile. I'm posting it on here to 1) have another post and 2) get used to posting. I'm trying to find time.. I really am! So here's a little information for the meantime:

Every day I stand in the midst of such an awesome God, but standing in the midst is not enough. The time in between realizing i'm standing there and the point when I see His face is a phase call life, and that is where I am.
Outwardly I am a typical Christian teenage girl. I love hanging with my two best friends that bring so much to my life. I love shopping, have a job, and don't always get along with my family, but love them so incredibly much all the same. I play basketball, go to school, etc. I go to church every week, read the Bible on a regular basis, volunteer where needed and gifted. Yeah, so what? On the inside there is a fierce battle between good and evil where no person can guess the next blow. That is the part of faith where things aren't always happy, bright, and shiny.. but it is such a beautiful battle! Ulitimately I know who wins, and whew-boy, thank the Lord I'm in the front lines of the victorious!
Inside I also have heart for a good romance most people wouldn't believe. I am strong, but realize it's OK not to have everything easily chugging along, and I show emotion during those times. I can handle being by myself most of the time. I love finding new places in Scripture where I can insert My Story. The girls in my small group are who I would give most credit for guiding me along the path He has laid out for me. My two key mentors are often the people who help me with heartache and decisions. Southeast Christian and it's teachings I've received in many different departments has changed me and continues to do so. My family is incredible and so sacrificial.
I'm just me. What you get is umm.. what you'll deal with. I'm hard to figure out, often confused, but overall I'm just a girl on a mission, and eternally thankful I'm worth something to Somebody.

Beginning to the Existent

Ok, so I admit, I'm not totally new to this blog thing... I've started a couple, and have gotten a few posts in, but not enough to really get going. I decided that I'm not the type of person who journals every night, but I am more than willing to put my thoughts to... screen. I also decided that I don't care who reads this... sorry, but it's more for a personal use. Getting my thoughts out in the open is a sense of release. This way, I can go back and see how such an Almighty God has worked in my life; how He has led me through the mountains of life, including ups and downs. So, world, here's me.