I Love that "People Always Leave"

Oh, how I hate goodbyes.

That quote in the title of this post was made famous by a certain P. Sawyer in One Tree Hill, and I've found it's true.

And the human side of me hates it. Really, desperately hates it. If only you could see me the 12 hours after I say significant goodbyes, you'd understand how deep my hatred for them truly runs.

Last week as I realized the impending departure of a good friend was drawing close, I started thinking about all the goodbyes I've said - some to friends graduating, others to those choosing to attend different colleges, and even more to friends getting new jobs. Right now alone I keep in pretty close contact with friends in California, Missouri, Florida, Arizona, New Hampshire, Kentucky, Maryland, and Kenya. Uh, yeah, long-distance don't got nothin' on me.

Then I began to think about the farewells I'm going to have to say to people in the future. More graduations. More moving. More new jobs. Yay. But immediately I realized what those goodbyes represent. Adventure. Exploration. New friends. More memories. Growing up. Fulfillment. Roadtrips resulting in free housing in new places. Knowledge of culture. Risk. Reward. And my favorite - ministry.

The hardest goodbyes I have ever said were because God was up to something much greater. When my parents made me switch schools in 6th grade. When the guy I thought I loved in high school stopped pursuing me. When I left my wonderful, comfortable life to go to Milligan. When I finished my internship at Mountain. When my magical month in Europe came to an end. When friends moved away.

In each of those situations the opportunity for great ministry was born. In my new school I met new friends who helped me fall in love with Jesus. Through the heartbreak I began to lean on Him in a whole new way. My journey to Tennessee continued the preparation for vocational ministry and gave me countless chances to love new people like Jesus loves them. Then I headed up north to a place that allowed me to pour into the lives of children and made my future path clearer. And then I gave a piece of my heart away to a continent - yes, a continent.

But recently the time has arrived for me to stay and for others to go. And, frankly, that's just not as fun.

Oh, but it is.

Risk. Adventure. Memories. Ministry.

I have some incredible friends, and I know that every time one of them spreads their shaking wings and trusts God, He'll swoop them where His name will be most magnified. So, God, if You have something so much better in store for my friends, then take them away.

Oh, how I love goodbyes.

I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.  Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:16-21

Hey - You're Flawless

Sometimes I just want to go around to everyone I see and tell them how much they're valued. How much they're loved. How much they're worth. Because if everyone in the world is anything like me in this area of life (and I'm guessing since we're all human, this pertains), sometimes they just plumb forget.

Because I'm generally an outwardly joyful and positive person, I think that sometimes makes me difficult for people to relate to. I don't usually hide my sin (I'm sure many of you can pinpoint many faults I have), but when it comes to things I deeply struggle with I only let a few select people know where I truly fall short. Between my selective transparence and my obvious happiness, I think that translates to the rest of those I interact with that I have it all together.

I don't.

I find my value in the number of likes I get on my Instagrams. I have a crappy attitude towards my parents when they ask me to help out, even though they're spending quite a large percentage of what they earn on my tuition. When I run I try to run on busier streets so that maybe someone I know will see me and think I'm awesome. I can't let other people win; even when I babysit it's hard for me to let the kids win sometimes (in Candyland... SERIOUSLY?!). I speed - a lot. I make people feel guilty about things they shouldn't. I struggle daily, sometimes even hourly, with controlling what I think and watch as it pertains to our sex-filled culture. My pride constantly astounds even ME. I usually find more value in certain people's opinions of me than in how God views me.

OK. That's enough, people.

My favorite part about all those things and the hundreds I didn't mention is that despite them all, I am valued. I am loved. I am worth everything to the God who designed every part of me. He called me by name. He sacrificed himself through Jesus because he wanted me to belong to him. Forever.

You, too.

I could find my worth through other people. What they think of me. How they see me. What they hear about me. What I post on Instagram. And oftentimes I do. But at times I have to give myself a reality check. Why would I want to focus on what other sinful humans think of me? I'm going to fail them over and over and over and over again, and then their opinions of me will be rightly marred. But if I focus on what my God thinks of me, my reputation is utterly flawless. Because I've given him full faith and control of my days, when he looks at me he only sees his daughter covered by the perfect blood of Jesus.

I don't know about you, but I'd prefer that grace any day.

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine."

Isaiah 43:1