Being a Mentor

While I'm in the middle of writing my life story blog, I decided to blog a little bit about how much I truly LOVE being a mentor.

Over the past year I have been meeting almost every week with a 12 year old girl who has grown to be a good friend. We have done a study of Hannah (Samuel's mom), memorized Scripture (the entire first chapter of James and a few other verses here and there), and now we're about to finish our study of Lies Young Women Believe. It's been an incredible year.

Since my freshman year I've had 4 women whom I have called mentors. Some have been called to other tasks, some just haven't worked out, and thankfully the one I have now is truly a God-send, promising me she won't leave me hanging. And she hasn't.

But from those 4 women I have learned so much. Grown so much deeper in faith... been challenged.. Learned the importance to reading Scripture. Little did I know how much I needed to do that for someone.

Being Maya's mentor has taught me that mentoring is a two-way street. I teach, she listens. She asks, I answer. Not only that, but I ask, and she answers. She asks, I don't know, so I find out. If you ask her, she can tell you that there's been many times where I don't have any earthly clue what to say, and so I've pridefully stumbled on my words, creating a jumbled mess of greater confusion. Or times when in my mind I know what to tell her, but when it tries to come out of my mouth it can't seem to piece together correctly.

But I try. And that girl is so patient with me.

With women in my life, I look up to them tremendously. I can't imagine Maya would look up to me that much, but if I think about it, I guess she does. She never gets mad or frustrated with me, even if I start sounding like a mom, don't know the answers, or change our plans last minute. She never ceases to give me the biggest of hugs and smiles when I barge in her house. It's the true definition of unconditional love.

When I leave for college in 35 days, the time I spend with Maya will be cut from 15 hours a week to maybe 10 hours a month... and that kills me. As I was leaving her house last week the tears began to freely fall when I thought about leaving her. Middle school is a very transitional time for kids... and for a preteen girl who is becoming more of a woman each day, emotions and friendships are crazy. I feel like I'm abandoning her when she may need me most.

But also, selfishly, I don't want to be away from her. We have so much fun together... swimming, laughing, just being like sisters. There are VERY few people who I can say love me no matter what I do, and going into a world where those people aren't makes me feel a little frightened.

Thankfully Maya has set up a Skype account, so I can keep up with her face-to-face in the years to come. And I'll probably be back home by the time she's about to enter the dating world. Whew, boy.

A Different Kind of Bible and Beach..

OK I just need to sit down and process all these thoughts and experiences of the last week... I'm confusing myself.

I went into the week not having a clue of what it would be like.. except for hot! it was nice having no expectations!

The bus ride down there was fantastic. I slept almost the ENTIRE time, and praise the Lord I got 2 seats the entire round trip. I couldn't stop thanking Him that He looks out for the little things, even my back pain :)

We arrived in Panama City Beach, and as soon as I saw Shelbi outside the bus my excitement bubbled over! I hate not being able to share long bus rides with her anymore, but her always being there as I step off the bus to give me the biggest hug ever created is the next best thing. We got our room assignments, and even though I wasn't put with Shelbi and Colleen, I couldn't wait to hang out with all the girls in our conjoining rooms!!! Little did I know that Tabitha (and Po) would turn out to be the most fun person to share sleeping quarters with... :)

OK, fine, here comes the most humbling thing I have ever put online.

Spiritually this week at BnB I was out of it. I was tired (both physically and spiritually) beyond belief. During the worship sessions, the Encounter times, the messages, and small groups I had hardly any participation. I just didn't want to be there. I was really homesick (for the first time in my life), and I just shut anything God was trying to say to me out. I acknowledged my hard heart, but I also didn't want to do anything to change the fact of its existence.

On Wednesday night I started feeling the Holy Spirit softening my heart, even if I only let him soften it a little, and for the first time that week I put my hands up during one of the songs. It felt so great to truly worship.

Following worship we had an incredible speaker from India share a snippet of his story, and my focus was not waned for a second. I just soaked up his bravery, his testimony, and his challenges to us to stand up for our faith, especially in the small, everyday things, even when everyone else is sitting down. Sounds cliche when I type it, but it was anything but.

After he spoke we watched a 90 minute documentary called "Love Costs Everything" depicting the stories of 5 or 6 families/individuals who had experienced the unthinkable in devotion to our God. I really want to watch it again, because it was probably my favorite thing about the week, but they also played in on the last night starting it at 915 PM. Everyone was exhausted, and it was all I could do to keep my eyes open and reading the subtitles. Such an encouragement, though. But even more of a challenge.

From that night til the next when we left, the Spirit grew stronger and stronger within me, and I felt like I was back to being the Danielle Merante I am... madly in love with my Jesus and trying to pursue Him as He meets me right where I am.

Some other highlights of the trip:

• talking with Shelbi.. laughing, confessing, and laughing some more. I am so blessed to have that girl as a best friend.
• talking with Juli.. actually more like just crying while I laid in her lap on the beach. She made missing home a little more bearable.
• talking with Tabs.. late into the night as we laughed hysterical, she cupped her ears, and Po was flung around giving kisses and comfort.
• talking with Lydia.. I missed Maya so much on this trip, and Lydia being able to talk to me and seek my counsel felt so good. I felt useful and needed, and Lydia is such a good friend. I'm so proud of her!
• talking with Stacie.. she listened to my story and gave me awesome counsel. And she also answered some questions I had... HA!
• talking with Emily.. from experiencing her beautiful face after waking up on the bus on the way there to finding each other every 15 minutes to say hello because our time apart from each other killed us. and our fun day on the dolphin cruise thing. and talking about boys. and lack of salad forks. and laughing at inappropriate times during worship. i love that girl.
• just laughing with my friends. those girls are the best thing God has put in my life, and I'm so grateful for that!!
• the weather. it was phenomenal!!! LOVING this tan..
• seeing dolphins. and swimming with them! OK, that 2nd part was a lie.
• the morning show. OK that was a lie, too.
• Po.

So there's my week. Hard, but good. Realized a lot of things. Admitted a lot of things. Hugged a lot of things. God's still a'workin!